Me, You and Niisan
by Taeryfai
Summary: ItaDeiSasu. The sequel to Foolish Little Brother, what if Sasuke decides he wants a threesome? This is now just going to be my ItaDeiSasu storing place :D, ItaDei, SasuDei and ItaDei are all going to be here as well :D
1. Chapter 1: How about that threesome?

**Me, You and Nii-san (sequel to foolish little brother)**

Sasuke could not help it, he was distracted and due to it his standards of missions were slipping as well as the fact he seemed even more bastard-ish than usual. The problem? His older brother and his blond bombshell of a boyfriend

_"Fine, we can have a threesome but only if Sasuke agrees." Itachi said giving in, Deidara cheered._

_"Well, un?" Deidara asked Sasuke who was in the doorway with a horror filled expression on his face._

"Sasuke-kun~ Kakashi sensei had arrived ages ago." The annoying pink bitch's whiny voice filled his eardrums making him want to rip them out just so he did not have to listen to her wails. He looked up and blinked, sure enough Kakashi sensei was standing there looking amused as he looked at him. Naruto was looking at him as well but he was just confused.

"You were just staring at the wall with a blush on your cheeks for ten minutes -dattebayo!" Naruto said, Sasuke felt his cheeks flush brighter red. Kakashi smirked under his mask, he had been a teenager not that long ago and knew what that blush meant.

"Naruto, Sakura walk ahead, I need to talk to Sasuke for a moment." Kakashi said, they nodded blankly and got ten steps away before they got into a fight and Sakura was chasing poor Naruto looking like the demon witch she was.

"So... I see something's on your mind? Care to share?" Kakashi asked Sasuke, bending down to Sasuke's height holding his book in front of his face as he peered over it. Sasuke coughed and went redder.

"Umm... Sensei?" Sasuke began embarrassedly.

"Yesss?" Kakashi asked interested.

"What's a threesome like?" Sasuke blurted out, he had no idea how to handle questions like these. Kakashi's eyebrow raised and his grin grew larger.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, let me introduce you to the world of Icha Icha. The answers to all your questions." Kakashi said slinging his arm around the Uchiha's shoulder and leading him away completely forgetting about their training and the two other members of Team 7.

X

Sasuke stared in amazing at the book as he read it, was this really what a threesome was like? It sounded amazing for instance one line read _his moans of pure ecstasy louden as the girl carefully danced her fingertips across his skin, lower and lower down his chest as the other girl was occupied with his mouth._ He found himself getting a nosebleed as he read more of the amazing book, no wonder Kakashi was reading this all the time! Speaking of Kakashi, he was staring at his most emotionless student, proud to have the love of his life (porn) bring a blush and a small smile onto his face.

"That was amazing, sensei, thank so much, I have to finish some business now." Sasuke said putting the book down, Kakashi smiled.

"Feel free to borrow my novels anytime you want Sasuke." Kakashi said giving him a knowing smirk. Sasuke blushed and walked quickly (Uchihas never ran, it was unsosithicated) out of his sensei's house.

X

Kisame was walking calmly through the Akatsuki's forest when a black blur ran into him, causing both of them to crash to the floor. He said rather foul curses he had learnt from Hidan and rubbed his now sore head. He looked across to see Itachi's little brother Sasuke rubbing his equally sore head as well. Kisame growled and pulled out Samehada, no way that brat was killing Itachi on _his _watch!

"You! You're not getting close enough to lay a finger on my partner!" Kisame shouted, Sasuke groaned, he came here to have a threesome and he had to get into a fight.

"I'm not going to hurt him, I just want to talk about his _offer." _Sasuke murmured, Kisame raised an eyebrow. Offer? What offer was this, Itachi had been out of his sight until today well except for that party where he had passed out onto the floor and Hidan had bragged about letting a duck-butt in. Realization hit him when he looked at Sasuke's hair, what was the stupid immortal thinking letting Itachi's sworn enemy in! But seeing as Itachi had not been injured and Sasuke was standing an offer may have happened. After all Itachi would of told him if his brother had come unless they had some sort of secret offer.

"We'll go ask him about this offer, but you better not try anything stupid." Kisame hissed, Sasuke stared surprised, he expected the shark just to chase him away not believing a word.

X

Itachi raised an eyebrow as Kisame walked into the Akatsuki living room where Deidara and Hidan also sat. He occupinied by his younger brother who was looking nervously around.

"Care to explain why brought me Sasuke?" Itachi asked, Kisame smirked.

"He said something about an offer..." Kisame said, Deidara spat out his drink all over Hidan at this and began choking. Itachi ignored him.

"Oh yes..." He glared at the choking Deidara "_That offer_..."

"Oh Itachi! Why didn't you tell me about this offer!" Kisame whined, "I thought I was your best friend!" Kisame continued, Itachi winced. Sasuke suddenly felt sympathy for his brother, Kisame was kind of like Sakura but taller, bluer, deeper pitched and with a smaller forehead.

"Well if you don't mind, I'll go discuss this offer with Sasuke in my room." Itachi said standing up, Kisame grabbed hold of Itachi's arm.

"But Itachi, you can't go on your own what if he tries any funny business!" Kisame whined, Itachi managed to stay composed.

"Fine, Deidara, you come too." Itachi said, Deidara stood up.

"But Itachi! I can do that easily!" Kisame whined, Hidan nodded.

"Yeh, why chose Blond bitch, he hates your guts almost as much as Duck-butt does." Hidan spoke up.

"Exactly, he hates me so he'll make sure Sasuke doesn't kill me just so he can kill me himself." Itachi said, Kisame blinked.

"That does make sense in a twisted kind of way." Kisame murmured, Itachi dragged them both into his bedroom and locked the door behind them.

"So, Sasuke, do you want a threesome then, un?" Deidara asked embarrassedly going red as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Well, I-I... yes." Sasuke murmured in a small voice, his face as red as his guilty pleasure (tomatoes).

"What changed your mind?" Itachi asked curiously, sitting on his bed comfortably.

"Icha Icha..." Sasuke admitted, the two elders looked at eachother.

"Isn't that a bit old for you?" Itachi queried "Deidara is even too young to read it."

"Shut up Itachi, un!" Deidara scowled, he smiled turning to Sasuke "Threesomes are a lot better than Icha Icha writes, Sasuke, you can only get so much pleasure from reading." Deidara smirked, Sasuke went redder.

"Are you a virgin?" Itachi asked bluntly, Sasuke nodded embarrassedly.

"I'll be really gentle, un, if you decide you don't what to continue, just tell me and I'll stop." Deidara said softly, Sasuke just looked at the ground. His eyes widen as a pair of soft lips captured his own. He tensed before relaxing and leaning into the kiss. Itachi bit his lip as he watched his love kiss his younger brother gently, he felt a mixture of jealousy and older brother protective instinct at that conflicted with eachother. Sasuke opened his eye, he had not realised he had shut them until then when the blond pulled away.

"Are you ready to go further?" Deidara asked concerned, Sasuke nodded. Itachi smiled, Deidara was being so considerate that it put his protective instinct at ease. But it didn't stop the jealousy. Deidara captured Sasuke's lips again and cautiously licked his bottom lip making Sasuke gasp in surprise. Deidara's tongue darted into his parted mouth taking the oppintunity. Itachi bit his lip, Deidara being so _SEME _was a big turn on for him. It made him annoyed he was not the one Deidara's attention was on. Meanwhile Deidara's slick muscle flicked Sasuke's own making it shyly rise up. Deidara smiled and slid his tongue around Sasuke's moist cavern exploring every inch of his mouth, Sasuke's eyes widened a the new pleasant feeling but soon his Uchiha pride kicked in and he fought for dominance. Deidara smirked and pinned his tongue down and explored further in his mouth making Sasuke moan loudly. Itachi's eyes widened, this was unbelievable arousing, who knew watching your little brother moan could get you semi-hard? Damn it, he needed to touch the blond. He slid his arms around the blond's slender waist, making Deidara smile at him lovingly before moaning into Sasuke's mouth as Itachi began to suck on his neck. Sasuke seprated panting for breath, Itachi resisted to glare at his brother and took Deidara's now empty mouth for his own. Deidara's eyes widened before he smirked having felt something hanrd rub against him.

"Hard much?" Deidara laughed as Sasuke recovered from the makeout session, Sasuke stood awkwardly looking at them.

"Ita-kun~ we can't forget about Sas~ah..." Deidara began but as Itachi removed his mouth from his and began working on his neck he trailed off into a moan. Sasuke found a nosebleed forming and his trousers were getting uncomfortablely tight. As he shifted the fabric rubbed his erection and he bit his lip embarrassedly as he let out a quiet moan. Deidara's and Itachi's attention turned onto hi, Deidara smiling.

"You take back, I'll take front." Deidara winked at Itachi, Itachi sighed and looked awkwardly at his younger brother. Sasuke smiled awkwardly back feeling like a little kid again. He gasped as Itachi slid his arms around his waist and began nibbling on his ear, Deidara took the given oppunity and slid his tounge into Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke's tounge burst into life and fought valiantly against Deidara's battered tounge which had to fight Itaci's moments before. Deidara wielded, his eyes drooping from tiredness. As Itachi licked his ear lobe, Sasuke moaned deeply into Deidara's mouth. Deidara soon felt his lungs begin to burn, he had barely recovered from the two makeout sessions beforehand. Deidara pushed away weakly panting, his hand mouths wheezing urgently to get his breathing back to normal as quickly as possible. Sasuke smirked over the fact that he had won that battle, Deidara saw this and frowned. He began to work on his neck, ignoring the mingled salvia of Itachi and Sasuke on his chin. Sasuke gasped and moaned as Deidara reached a sensitive spot (the same spot where the curse mark would be) Deidara nipped softly on the spot before circling his tounge over it making Sasuke shudder. Itachi was working down from his ear and past the back of the neck to the shoulder blades (just visible above the shirt) as Deidara was doing so. Deidara left the now pronounced lovemark and trailed down to the top of Sasuke's shirt. His ngers faltered near te bottom of the shirt, he looked nervously at Sasuke and Itachi.

"Off?" He asked cautiousl, Sasuke nodded and Itachi detatched himself from his brother and helped Deidara to lift off the shirt over Sasuke's head. Sasuke shivered from the sudden cold, Itachi quickly reattatched himsef back to Sasuke's back and Deidara did the same to the front. They mirrored eachother as they made a trail of lovemarks down his back and chest. Sasuke moaned loudly, Deidara made his way to thperk nipples and twisted them in his mouth. Itachi, having decided he had enough of Sasuke's cinnamony taste, made his way to Deidara and nibbled on Deidara's neck longingly. He closed his eyes in pleasure as he tasted his love's sweet chocolately banana taste.

" I want to be inside you." Itachi murmured lustily, his eyes half-lidded, Deidara blushed a beautiful scarlet.

"I-I-Itachi..." Deidara murmured, Itachi began biting on Deidara's neck, Deidara moaned and tried desperately to keep his attention on Sasuke but failed and could barely think straight due to what Itachi was doing to his neck.

"Now I think its hardly fair that Sasuke is the only one shirtless." Itachi purred, Deidara blushed and Itachi slid Deidara's shirt off before pulling off his own.

X

Pein had called a meeting, they were now waiting for Deidara an Itachi who had both not been seen since they left with Sasuke. Then all the assembled members heard it. There was a loud thud as someone was hit against the wall then...

"Watch where your putting those filthy hands!" A voice cried out in a mixture of a pained/pleasured groan.

"Shall I show you how filthy these hands can be~" Deidara's voice purred seductively, Sasori bit his lip, what the hell was his partner doing.

Loud moans filled the room. Pein coughed awkwardly, whilst the other members either began snickering, choking on nothing or becoming very blank.

"Oh God~ harder, un." Deidara's voice screamed out in pleasure. Hidan scowled and banged against the wall.

"It's Jashin! For Jashin's sake!" Hidan yelled, there was a silence until...

"Sorr~AH! Hidan." Deidara replied, Hidan smiled triumphantly as Deidara then screamed "Oh fucking Jashin, yes, un, there!" Tobi scowled, there was a slightly higher-pitched scream.

"For goodness sake, Itachi, don't forget *murmur murmur*!" Deidara shouted,

"Gomen, koi." Itachis voice rang out, everyone froze. Koi? Kisame paled. His darling Itachi was with Deidara, he burst into tears. Everyone froze, Itachi was there too? Didn't that mean that there was three people... there was even louder moans from then on, three moans at once at one point. Konan ran out the room wielding a video camera.

"Go... Jashin you're so fucking tight, un." Deidara murmured.

"FASTER!" The unrecongnized voice yelled, everyone blinked. Who did that belong to? Screams of pleasure echoed around the meeting room.

"Is it wrong to be turned on?" Hidan asked bluntly, everyone turned and stared at him. Kakuzu face palmed, why was he stuck with the loud mouthed idiot? "Hey Kakuzu, do you want to get a room?" Hidan purred into his ear very quietly, Kakuzu went red. Then he shrugged, why not? After all Hidan was very attractive and the noise those three were making would drown them out. They both stood up and left.

x

Sasuke hobbled into Konoha, Deidara had been kind enough to escort outside the gates despite the fact his ass probally hurt more than his did. Who knew Itachi could pound that hard? He was currently making his way to his house when the stupid pink bitch popped up and screamed at him.

"WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU THAT HICKEY!" She screamed pointed to his neck, Sasuke groaned, he'll have to start wearing higher-collared shirts.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, that is just a bruise from training." Sasuke lied smoothly. Kakashi and Naruto hearing the screams of Sakura, ran up.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked cooly, Sakura pointed to Sasuke's neck shakingly. Kakashi seeing the hickey smirked, so his student did as he thought he would. Due to his amazing eyesight and taller height than Sakura he could see more hickeys littering Sasuke's neck just below his high-collared shirt. He smirked, Sasuke had gotten very lucky then.

"Can I go back to my house, sensei? I don't feel like training." Sasuke said, Kakashi nodded and noticed in amusement as Sasuke limped. So he swung _that way_. He have to show him some of his yaoi collection then.


	2. Chapter 2: Possessive not jealous

"Sasuke-kun~" The annoying pink bitch's voice called out dragging him painfully from his wonderous recollection of the threesome he had a month ago. Especially those wonderful, wonderful mouths, all four of them (five if you counted Itachi). He drifted back into the fansaty land just to be rudely dragged out of it when she pressed her non existent breasts against his arm, seriously she was so flat chested a pole had more breast than her. There was an angry cough.

"Excuse me sir, if you don't mind... GET YOUR HANDS OFF _MY _UCHIHA!" A pissed voice shouted, Sasuke turned to see Deidara glaring at Sakura. He was impressed, Deidara must have learnt something from Itachi about glaring, he was up to Uchiha standards (almost). Sakura glared back but it was nothing on Deidara's and it just made her uglier than she already was.

"Who says Sasuke's yours!" Suckura asked rudely still clinging onto Sasuke who was standing stiffly. "Besides I'm a GIRL!" Suckura added, Deidara raised a spectical eyebrow and looked at her chest.

"Really? You have no breasts what so ever, un." Deidara said dublisously, Suckura scowled.

"I'm wearing a dress for Kami's sake!" Suckura shouted, Deidara shrugged.

"So I know lodes of people who cross dress, un." Deidara said thinking of that time when Tobi stole Konans bra and wore it and the other time when Hidan dressed up as a school girl, speaking of Hidan... "and it's Jashin not Kami by the way." Deidara added, Suckura frowned.

"I have pink hair." Suckura added, Deidara sighed sadly.

"I feel sorry for you but that doesn't make you a girl, un." Deidara replied, Suckura seeing she could not win this arguement unless she dropped her pants decided to drop the argument.

"So what says Sasuke is yours!" Suckura said returning to the first question, Deidara sighed and pulled her off him. He then went behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Sasuke relaxed in his arms and leaned back comfortable.

"His reaction did, un. He was tensed with you showing he was uncomfortable but he immediately relaxed with me showing he's happy, un." Deidara said, Suckura gawped like a fish. Deidara smirked and went furthur. He pulled Sasuke tighter and began sucking on his neck teasingly with his very talented tounge (he can make clay statues with it for goodness sake!), Sasuke moaned quietly. Deidara stopped and looked with pride at the large love-mark he had made and smirked at Suckura.

"And there's that." Deidara added, Suckura stared frozen in horror. Sasuke whined missing Deidara's contact, Deidara went to the front of him and nuzzled his forehead apolojectedly. Sasuke pushed his lips against Deidara's licking his lip to make him part them, which he did. Soon their tounges were entwined and they were making out right in front of Suckura who's jaw was on the floor. Sasuke pushed Deidara into a tree so his back was against the hard bark, Deidara grunted slightly, Sasuke's hand found itself wandering up Deidara's shirt making the blond's eyes widen before he smirked.

"Aren't we fast forward, un?" Deidara asked, Sasuke growled and began to work on Deidara's neck. Deidara barely stifled a moan, Sasuke not liking that moved lower down. Deidara let out the moan giving in. They had forgotten all about Suckura but their attention was drawn to her as she screamed and fainted.

"Do you think she'll leave me alone from now on?" Sasuke asked, pulling away from Deidara's neck but still pining him to the tree.

"**He** better or I'll kill **him**, un." Deidara growled, Sasuke smiled in amusement.

"Aw, is ikkle Dei-Dei jealous?" Sasuke teased, Deidara shook his head.

"No, I'm not jealous. **He's **ugly, clingy and Uchiha-less." Deidara replied seriously but then he smiled "But I am possessive, un." Deidara said. Sasuke smirked.

"Do you want to go to my place?" He asked, Deidara laughed.

"Sure, un." Deidara said laying his head on Sasuke's shoulder. He swore he heard Sasuke mutter something like '_This time, _I'm _topping._' but he dismissed it and left for Sasuke's house hand in hand with the younger Uchiha.

**A/N: *sarcastic* Can you see how much I **_**love**_** Whoreuno Suckura?**

***honest* I hate her! She killed Sasori, she did not stop whining during Naruto and she did NOTHING and in Naruto Shippuden she has to be annoying still and she can't really do much which is useful.**

**Sorry it's short, I'll do another chapter soon!**


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Special

Itachi groaned, it was Christmas but Pein (in the ass) still made him go out on a mission, not only that despite the fact he gave _everyone _(even including Zetsu) christmas cards and presents, he had not recieved even the simpliest 'Merry Christmas' from anyone. Not even Deidara who was his lover. So, incredibly pissed he opened his bedroom door only to freeze at the sight of Deidara sitting on his bed. Wait for it... wearing an extremely revealing, short and _tight _Mrs. Claus outfit complete with a small christmas hat. The red material clung to his body leaving nothing to the imagination, he had even gone as far as wearing red panties lined with white fluff with matching stockings attatched. His long blond hair was out of its usual high ponytail and was in two matching plaits. His jaw dropped, Deidara had never done something like this before.

"Merry Christmas, un." Deidara said in a smooth, silky voice which was almost as big a turn on as the outfit. Itachi just stared for a moment more only just noticing the woman's knee-high boots Deidara was wearing. Deidara had tiny feet, he noted amused.

"Well do you like it, un?" Deidara asked uncertainly going red, Itachi did not grace him with a worded answer, he merely straddled the blond bomber before hungrily taking his lover's mouth for his own. Deidara moaned as Itachi's tounge invaded his mouth and reaquainted itself with all the nooks and crannies of his moist cavern. Itachi's tounge entwined with Deidara's own, he smirked at the unusually submissive Deidara, usually he tried to find for dominence. He decided to adward him for his good behaviour, he leaned furthur forward to Deidara and pushed his tounge into the furthurest reachs of Deidara's mouth without causing Deidara's gag reflex. Deidara was moaning in pleasure and he slid his arms around Itachi's neck, his hand mouths familar with the layout of Itachi's neck began to suck and nipple on his sensitive areas before rolling his tounges on the now more sensitive spots. Itachi gasped and withdrew from Deidara's mouth leaving a trail of salvia linking them together, he decided it was in order to 'punish' Deidara for his little trick even if it did feel amazing. He removed Deidara's hands and pinned them above Deidara's head. He smirked and licked Deidara's left hand mouth's (Lefty's) lips. Deidara gasped and buckled upwards.

"Itachi! You know how sensitive they are!" Deidara panted trying to glare but failing to his half-lidded eyes. Itachi smirked and pecked Deidara on the lips.

"I know." He said before shoving his slightly too large tounge into Lefty's mouth.

"Ah~" Deidara practically screamed in pleasure, writhling under Itachi's grasp, so much that his outfit was riding upwards so it was now ending at his waist, showing his fluffy panties in all their sexy christmas glory. Itachi smirked at this and smirked at the panties which were clearly growing uncomfortable due to Deidara's erection. He decided to 'punish' him a bit more. He shoved his fingers into Lefty's mouth stretching it before ravishing Righty's mouth. Deidara screamed and arched off the bed into Itachi. Deidara's eyes widened in something close to fear as Itachi practically ripped off the outfit leaving the hat, panties, stockings and boots. Itachi smirked and stretched Righty's mouth like he did Lefty's, Deidara was whimpering slightly as Itachi leaned over to lick his chest mouth. He screamed louder than he ever did before, if his hand mouths were sensitive they were nothing compared to his chest mouth. Deidara was screaming so loud it was a surprise that no one came in claiming Itachi was murdering the poor blond. Itachi began to quickly try to calm Deidara down, he was whimpering and was in tears. He had never gone this far before and he was pushing at Deidara's limits.

"I'm sorry, koi." Itachi said and he nuzzled against Deidara's head lovingly, Deidara pushed his lips up and kissed him gently.

"I forgive you, just don't do that again." He murmured, Itachi nodded and kissed him lovingly, Deidara returned it almost instantly. Itachi began to grind against the blond making him give an uncomfortable gasp as his panties were struggling against his erection.

"Just fuck me, un." Deidara murmured, Itachi smiled.

"What ever you say, koi." Itachi said and kissed him on the forehead before holding out three fingers, Deidara knowing what to do already from experience just took them and carefully draped them in salvia in the most erotic way he could manage in order to punish Itachi back. He spent what seemed like an age coating them tantalisingly. Finally he gave them back to Itachi who finally relieved him of those annoying panties. He gasped at the sudden rush of cold air to his member.

**Aren't I mean leaving off here ;) Merry Christmas and I hoped you like this chapter, I can't honestly write past this :P Itachi's getting his turn with Deidara now :D. Next chapter may be ItaSasu as it went like this ItaDeiSasu, DeiSasu and now ItaDei**


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